Venetia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
venetia_sassy) wrote2011-09-04 10:19 pm
venetia_sassy) wrote2011-09-04 10:19 pm
Five minus one
To get the less than pleasant aspects of yesterday out of the happy post:
MCR fires their drummer
I hate to think what it took for them to publically say 'we just want him out of our lives'.
*
Oddly enough, the other unhappy aspect of the day was discovering that a disagreement between Missy (not there) and Rena has gone to full-on feud. Our Gang of Five may now be a Gang of Four.
Short, vague version: Missy and Rena were sharing an apartment, many and various petty annoyances and ... other things, were just not being resolved and Rena decided that being flatmates was not working out and if they wanted to stay friends, they probably shouldn't keep living together. So she told Missy she wanted to move out and that they should sit down and work out what to do about the lease agreement, bills, finding Missy a new flatmate, etc. Missy apparently didn't agree with this and has refused to see or speak to Rena since. And her emails have been less than helpful. Now she wants a neutral mediator or a tribunal hearing to sort things out and Rena's had to talk to legal aid. Jesus Christ.
I haven't heard Missy's side of it but here's the thing: I've known both of them for eight years. In that time, it is amazing just how many difficult and unpleasant persons Missy had encountered who seem to delight in making her life hard. Having only ever heard her side of these stories, I was willing to go with the benefit of the doubt (she has had lousy luck in some areas.)
This time? I'm hearing Rena's side and the behaviour she's describing sounds like what Missy says other people do to her.
I really wonder if she's thought this through. We're her longest-lasting friends and she is burning her bridges here. Rena is so hurt and angry that she has declared the friendship over. Kitt, being Rena's best friend/brain twin/platonic life partner is also finished with Missy. Pip (who is an incredibly kind, patient, easy-going person) is reaching the end of her rope. Missy and Rena also have a number of mutual friends at uni. This cannot end well.
I'm not getting involved in the current situation (I don't want to blow things up further) but if Missy gets in touch, there would have to be a pretty amazing explanation for why she's just fucked over an eight-year friendship.
Looking back though, it's a pretty logical progression of behaviours we've seen over the years. I had the rather horrifying realisation that Missy was turning into Mrs Scorrier:
'One of the advantages of having led a sequestered life is that you've not until now encountered the sort of woman who can't refrain from quarrelling with all who cross her path. She is forever suffering slights, and is so unfortunate as to make friends only with such ill-natured persons as soon or late treat her abominably! No quarrel is ever of her seeking; she is the most amiable of created beings, and the most long-suffering. It is her confiding disposition which renders her a prey to the malevolent, who, from no cause whatsoever, invariably impose upon her, or offer her such intolerable insult that she is obliged to cut the connection.'
I don't want my friend to turn into that. But I don't want to be friends with a Mrs Scorrier either.
MCR fires their drummer
I hate to think what it took for them to publically say 'we just want him out of our lives'.
*
Oddly enough, the other unhappy aspect of the day was discovering that a disagreement between Missy (not there) and Rena has gone to full-on feud. Our Gang of Five may now be a Gang of Four.
Short, vague version: Missy and Rena were sharing an apartment, many and various petty annoyances and ... other things, were just not being resolved and Rena decided that being flatmates was not working out and if they wanted to stay friends, they probably shouldn't keep living together. So she told Missy she wanted to move out and that they should sit down and work out what to do about the lease agreement, bills, finding Missy a new flatmate, etc. Missy apparently didn't agree with this and has refused to see or speak to Rena since. And her emails have been less than helpful. Now she wants a neutral mediator or a tribunal hearing to sort things out and Rena's had to talk to legal aid. Jesus Christ.
I haven't heard Missy's side of it but here's the thing: I've known both of them for eight years. In that time, it is amazing just how many difficult and unpleasant persons Missy had encountered who seem to delight in making her life hard. Having only ever heard her side of these stories, I was willing to go with the benefit of the doubt (she has had lousy luck in some areas.)
This time? I'm hearing Rena's side and the behaviour she's describing sounds like what Missy says other people do to her.
I really wonder if she's thought this through. We're her longest-lasting friends and she is burning her bridges here. Rena is so hurt and angry that she has declared the friendship over. Kitt, being Rena's best friend/brain twin/platonic life partner is also finished with Missy. Pip (who is an incredibly kind, patient, easy-going person) is reaching the end of her rope. Missy and Rena also have a number of mutual friends at uni. This cannot end well.
I'm not getting involved in the current situation (I don't want to blow things up further) but if Missy gets in touch, there would have to be a pretty amazing explanation for why she's just fucked over an eight-year friendship.
Looking back though, it's a pretty logical progression of behaviours we've seen over the years. I had the rather horrifying realisation that Missy was turning into Mrs Scorrier:
'One of the advantages of having led a sequestered life is that you've not until now encountered the sort of woman who can't refrain from quarrelling with all who cross her path. She is forever suffering slights, and is so unfortunate as to make friends only with such ill-natured persons as soon or late treat her abominably! No quarrel is ever of her seeking; she is the most amiable of created beings, and the most long-suffering. It is her confiding disposition which renders her a prey to the malevolent, who, from no cause whatsoever, invariably impose upon her, or offer her such intolerable insult that she is obliged to cut the connection.'
I don't want my friend to turn into that. But I don't want to be friends with a Mrs Scorrier either.
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