How To Be A Bad Parent
Apr. 28th, 2011 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
venetia_sassyJust finished my reread of A Feast of Crows and the thought that kept waving for attention was, this series could be subtitled How to Screw Up Your Kids for Life.
We have the Lannisters: Tywin Lannister wanted his children and himself to be respected and honoured and never laughed at as his own father was. Hence, Tyrion could never ever gain his approval no matter how clever he was because his physical deformities made them all a target for mockery. Jaime was supposed to be the golden son and heir but he didn't want that and didn't have the brains for it anyway. Cersei might well have had the brains but she was a girl and thus taught (or not taught) to be a pawn not a player, leading to fairly horrendous results when she tried to play at the same level.
And while Tywin wanted his children to be respected, it never seemed to occur to him that it might be nice for them to be happy.
And Cersei as a mother? Frightening. Myrcella seems to be a game piece, nothing more. She loves Tommen ... as long as he does what she says. And Joffrey ... I don't know if there was anything redeemable about him but between them Robert and Cersei did everything they could to turn him into a monster.
The Starks: on the surface, Ned and Catelyn seem like good parents. They clearly love their children and want them to be happy. They teach them to be just and kind, honourable and loyal, to believe in truth, chivalry and justice.
The problem with that being that they don't teach the children how to deal with people who are none of those things. They teach them that most people will be honourable if given the chance and we see how well that worked out for everyone, don't we? Teaching their children how to survive in the real world would have been considerably more beneficial.
And Catelyn ... at the same time as she tells the children these things she treats a bastard child with cruelty and contempt for something that was none of his doing. Nice. I can understand why she took out her feelings of betrayal on Jon rather than Ned. Ned was her husband, someone she had to submit to and learn to live with. Jon couldn't fight back. Understanding the reasons doesn't make her actions any better however.
Lysa Arryn was just scary (and I wasn't too fond of her characterisation as a silly, love-struck girl.) That poor child. And poor Sansa having to deal with him.
Sam's father couldn't tolerate a son who wasn't his image of masculinity so he threatens to murder Sam unless Sam chooses exile. Lovely.
Theon Greyjoy spent ten years living as an outsider and a hostage only to return home to his father's contempt and dislike. I don't like Theon but that was cruel.
I'm trying to think of a good example of parenthood in the books ... I'm not coming up with anyone. I rather liked the Queen of Thorns (for all she called her son a dolt) but without more information I won't call her a good parent or grandparent just yet.
We have the Lannisters: Tywin Lannister wanted his children and himself to be respected and honoured and never laughed at as his own father was. Hence, Tyrion could never ever gain his approval no matter how clever he was because his physical deformities made them all a target for mockery. Jaime was supposed to be the golden son and heir but he didn't want that and didn't have the brains for it anyway. Cersei might well have had the brains but she was a girl and thus taught (or not taught) to be a pawn not a player, leading to fairly horrendous results when she tried to play at the same level.
And while Tywin wanted his children to be respected, it never seemed to occur to him that it might be nice for them to be happy.
And Cersei as a mother? Frightening. Myrcella seems to be a game piece, nothing more. She loves Tommen ... as long as he does what she says. And Joffrey ... I don't know if there was anything redeemable about him but between them Robert and Cersei did everything they could to turn him into a monster.
The Starks: on the surface, Ned and Catelyn seem like good parents. They clearly love their children and want them to be happy. They teach them to be just and kind, honourable and loyal, to believe in truth, chivalry and justice.
The problem with that being that they don't teach the children how to deal with people who are none of those things. They teach them that most people will be honourable if given the chance and we see how well that worked out for everyone, don't we? Teaching their children how to survive in the real world would have been considerably more beneficial.
And Catelyn ... at the same time as she tells the children these things she treats a bastard child with cruelty and contempt for something that was none of his doing. Nice. I can understand why she took out her feelings of betrayal on Jon rather than Ned. Ned was her husband, someone she had to submit to and learn to live with. Jon couldn't fight back. Understanding the reasons doesn't make her actions any better however.
Lysa Arryn was just scary (and I wasn't too fond of her characterisation as a silly, love-struck girl.) That poor child. And poor Sansa having to deal with him.
Sam's father couldn't tolerate a son who wasn't his image of masculinity so he threatens to murder Sam unless Sam chooses exile. Lovely.
Theon Greyjoy spent ten years living as an outsider and a hostage only to return home to his father's contempt and dislike. I don't like Theon but that was cruel.
I'm trying to think of a good example of parenthood in the books ... I'm not coming up with anyone. I rather liked the Queen of Thorns (for all she called her son a dolt) but without more information I won't call her a good parent or grandparent just yet.
